Bad News

I just wanted to make this post to keep as a remembrance to my friend Oscar cat, name gato
I know that I learned about this bad news some time ago, and I meant to post this since then, but it really did bother me, and I was putting it out and putting it out.

I remember that Oscar would always make a comment that he wanted to have a cat, and he was determined to acquire one. Oscar had to acquire several cats without luck,either they would get sick and die or other things.
I think Oscar, is a super nice guy and sweet, but he never had cats before so he was new on been a cat owner.
So, when he acquire Gato, it showed that he really love that cat a lot. He took tons of pictures, he would take him to the vet, which was quiet many times since he was a very sickly cat, an Oscar seemed proud of his cat.

On February 29th, Oscar sent me an email letting me know that his cat had died and he was very upset about it.
When I question him about how his cat died, he let me know that Gato had been sick for some time and he had taken him to the vet several times trying to save him, but they did not succeeded to save him.
Oscar said that the vets would tell him that Gato was anemic, that he had hepatitis, and at the end they were not able to give a concrete answer. The thing, is, that seemed like Gato, suffer a lot =( poor thing.
I feel bad about this cause, Gato was sick for quiet sometime, and I was not aware of it, specially cause I stay out of line quiet a lot and seems like Oscar was very busy trying to save him. I feel bad cause I was not there to give him words of support.

Gato lived for close to 2 years
July 2007-February 29th, 2009

I'll post pictures as soon as Oscar sends me some, I had some on my other pc but lost them when my pc died

here are some pictures of Gato

he had such a funny cute face

gato on Oscar's lap
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    gloomy gloomy
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is hot outside and the sun is shinning. It looks like it is a beautiful day but still the feeling is not right.
Christmas Eve has left a bitter taste on my mouth and made my heart care less for a lot of things. Today, Christmas day, seems like it is not going to be an exception. The way the day started seems like everything is turning upside down.
My family, I love them, but they are so dysfunctional that they make my head hurt and my heart race. The other day, as I wrapped Christmas gifts, I kept imagining Christmas day, and all of us opening our presents one at a time, and each of us giving thanks to the other person. I was having hopes for all of us to be together happy and thankful. What happened yesterday and what is happening today has made me realized we humans are forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. I feel that I haven't forgotten, but the people around me has. I am not saying I am perfect, cause I am not. I have so many problems, not just physical, but emotional and psychological too. Sometimes the only way to deal with those problems is just to shut myself away from people.

The other day while I was going to the store I was observing people's actions. I noticed lots of parents taking their kids to get their Christmas presents, which I find quiet stupid. I know everyone has their own way of thinking, but hell, aren't those presents suppose to be surprises? another thing I saw, is how frantic people act to get the presents at the last minute. They act as if their lives depended on the buying of the last minute present. It is kinda sad, to see people buying huge expensive presents, lots of presents and acting like their lives are on the line if they dont buy those presents. I think people should instead, teach their kids values, of caring, giving, appreciation and best of all, the true meaning of Christmas. The 23rd a friend of my mom was all frantic cause she couldnt find the present that her kids wanted, I remember butting in and asking if they didnt have any presents, and she said that they did, but that they also liked to provide the kids with a big gift, ( meaning expensive one) and besides they also were going to receive the one from Santa, I was in shock, I bluntly said, well you can get that any other day, nothing will happen to them if they dont receive that "big present". She was horrified, not by my response but of the thought of not getting the kids what they wanted. I was repulsed by it, they are clearly teaching the kids that on Christmas time is time to demand something and not caring how parents are going to get it.
Going back to my Christmas. Yesterday, when I came home I found hour Christmas tree had been raid. By the way, we had a real one this year, which I oppose of. It takes years for those pine tree to grow and for what? be cut down and later one discard them on an empty lot; I hate to see that, people dont even dispose of them properly.
Ok, as I was saying, our tree was full of presents and yesterday it had only a few. What I was hoping for didnt happened. Everyone took off to different directions and took their presents with them. Damn! it was not even Christmas! it was Christmas Eve! for Christs sake! well until now I still dont know, if they liked the presents I got them, or if they gave them away to someone else or worst, discard of them. I havent received a thank you from no one, actually my mother was the only one that thank me, that didnt even made me feel any better. The only ones present at home last night it was me and my mother. She opened her present today, I havent opened mine, which is only one. It made me sad, that not even my mother got me a present, each Birthday, and Christmas she tells me, that she owes me my present, last night was no exception, but this time I plain told her as I wrapped a gift for my brother and my sister in-law, that she always did that, but she would never forget to get gifts for everyone else. I know they are not the most greatest gifts that she gets for the others, but sometimes I expect a little something, that would show me that she appreciates that I never forget to get her something, no matter how upset I am sometimes.
Most of the times I appreciate people for their actions and not for their words. I always expect, at least a small thing to show me that people care and appreciate me. This year, I only sent 1 Christmas card; the first time I saw it, I thought it was perfect for that person. The card was not of big value but the words it had on it were simple and hopeful and the image on it, brought a smile to my face. I remembered this person, cause she has taken her time to reply me whenever I annoy her and to share things that had made me smile. I just wish I could had given her more, to show her that I really appreciate that she takes the time to deal with me.
I had given up on my family but I am always looking for whoever is willing to be part of my craziness.

I was thinking if I am still alive next year ( cause u never know what tomorrow could bring), to do things differently. The most probable thing will be not to give my family any gifts, but instead do something that would be more meaningful to someone else. I am always hopeful that with the start of a New Year for things to be different, but until now it hasn't change and the past years.

I apologize if what I write most of the time dont make sense. Sometimes I wonder if I have a problem cause sometimes what I write does not make sense to me either. I have noticed that I write words that I was not even thinking about writing.
Either that or is that I am totally stupid. I know lots of people think that, cause of the way they respond or by the lack of response. I accept that I am not the brightest person out there, but I am sensible.

by the way Merry Christmas


pics of my cats

I finally was able to open my photobucket account to upload picture =/
I forgot my password and didnt want to change it, but well I did after all so here there are the pictures of my cat named Kyo as promised u_U he is the cutest thing ever

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    blah blah

it has been so long

hellow everyone
it has been so long since I visited my livejournal
guess what ppl? I got a cat, his name is Kyo. I decided to name him like that cause he reminds me of this picture of Kyo
his ears are the same color as Kyo's hair and his eyes are blue and he is a little devil. When I get a decent picture of him I will post it. I just hope I keep him long enough, since my family wants me to get rid of him.

Another thing, I was watching this today

I love that clip, specially cause it is from one of my favorite animes.
Fruits basket, made me laugh so many times while watching it, but it also made me cry, even when I tried to avoid it.

I was without, internet connection for some time and during that time, I listen to Diru a lot. I always noticed that on the song Zakuro almost at the last part, I could hear a real deep voice, deeper than Kyo's, so it made me wonder if it was Die's, since it is common for him to do back up voice or whatever u call it.
Another thing,Conceived Sorrow,still makes me tremble with emotion whenever I listen to it.

sorry if I didnt did the cut, I keep forgetting the code =/
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    conceived sorrow

Happy New Year 2008

hii all, this goes to all my lj friends

I hope all your wishes come true, that this new year brings new beginnings and new dreams to come true and that the old dreams that didnt come true in the 07 to come true this new year.
I know that all of us went thru though times, heart brakes, sadness, losses, and so many bad things, but I also know that for all those bad things, there was at least 1 good thing that made us happy and that touched our hearts.

I myself went thru lots of thought times, but there was one thing that made me forget all those bad things. A Diru concert. Also, my cat Sahara, just to look at her makes me forget some of the bad things that had happened to me this year 2007. I am great full that I have her. Otherwise, I would go crazy.

to all of u that had been visiting my journal, thanks!

I wish u the best in life, and please take care all of u

*gives them all a big hug


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    flower-Lar en ciel

Dir en grey at Kerrang

hiii my friends ^_^ aahh I rarely post something and when I do is just to annoy people around.

well if some of u r part of Dir en grey's Myspace, you may had received their blog post either yesterday or today.

Anyways, the blog post says:

Kerrang! have just started their readers' poll on! I need all of your helps to make it happen this time and make the band featured on the magazine issued on December 15th!!

We would like to focus on some of categories:

Best Thing About 2007 – DIR EN GREY finally coming to the UK
Best Live Gig – DIR EN GREY London Islington Academy
Best Band – DIR EN GREY

well I went ahead and started voting, but I voted as follows:

Dir en grey as best band

and Kyo from Dir en grey as the sexiest male <--dont u people think he deserves something like that??

at first I was like hell!!!!! I am voting differently from the way they asked us to do and I didnt use all capitals, so I was getting worry about it and thought that maybe the votes wont count, but seems like they do. Anyways, I am still voting. I noticed that I can vote more than once. I really dont know if the repeated votes each person makes at a time would count or if they just count one vote per day.

wouldn't it be amazing if they appear on the magazine issued on December 15th????? =D
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    none at the momment